Your Audiobook Horoscope for the Spring Equinox
Hey, Mercury retrograde, I just want to talk
Chances are, I don’t have to tell you how crazy the astrology throughout these last few weeks of winter have been. Ecplises, and retrogrades, and general malaise, oh my.
Thankfully, the end of March and the entrance of Aries season, which is the beginning of the astrological year, is the perfect moment to revive those New Year, Fresh Start feelings as the world starts to bloom and we remember that things can be okay sometimes.
Shake off the snow, take a big stretch, and plug in to an audiobook that’s ready to meet you where you’re at, and guide you forward when you’re ready for something fresh.
Aries
Hello, birthday sprout! 🌱You are blooming, poking your leaves up towards the sun to welcome your season once again. Your days of burying yourself in the soil are over: your energy has renewed, your social life is thawing, and you are taking on the world with all the curiosity of a freshly born calf, so treat yourself as if you’re brand new. It’s the perfect time to try a new cuisine, make a new friend, or dance where you’ve never danced before.
You should listen to: All That Chandni Knows by Khushboo Patel
Taurus
You’re doing self-care spring in a big kid real way! You may be finding that you’ve outgrown things and are not sitting comfy in your window box right now. You need to prune your branches and find space to grow. Quietly distance yourself from relationships that no longer feel good, take stock of your habits, and spend some time clearing or rearranging your space. It’ll match your new emotional expanse, leaving every part of your life wide open for you to fill with new tchotchkes– both tangible and symbolic.
You should listen to: Strangers by Belle Burden
Gemini
I think you may have been the only one to find the recent astrological rollercoaster that we’ve been on exciting. I saw you with your hands up and shouting “woo-hoo”, gemmy. Everyone is being drawn in by your amusement park energy, and you should use that power for good. Step up and be the member of the friend group that plans the hangouts this season–you’re so in tune with the best dance parties and most delicious restaurants, no one else could compare.
You should listen to: The Jills by Karen Parkman
Cancer
You’re feeling like an inquisitive little crab this season. You’re looking to be somewhere new and learn many things both while you’re home and while you’re traveling. You should plan a trip to a place that you specifically want to know more about, and pick up a new hobby or enroll in a class for when you return. You’ll be surprised when these experiences lead to new opportunities cropping up–here you thought you were just feeding your brain.
You should listen to: El Paso by Jazmine Ulloa
Leo
Ooooh you’re a kitty with a crush (or are in the headspace to potentially be open to having a crush)! You may have had a bit of a hard time flirting lately, but don’t worry, Mercury retrograde has had all of us putting our paws in our mouths. Now that we’re nearly free, you’re feeling more of your regularly scheduled confidence, and the world seems to have a little bit more of that serendipitous magic…the perfect recipe for a new entanglement (or spicing up an old one).
You should listen to: One & Only by Maurene Goo
Virgo
It’s official now: the patterns you’ve had a hunch you’ve been outgrowing are now about two sizes too small. You can’t even pretend to be comfortable in them anymore, babe! It’s time to weed your garden, and be a little more disciplined with yourself. Take a particular look at your wellness, career, and self-care routines. The more you settle into things that feel good, the less likely you are to fall into toxic situations.
You should listen to: Nasty Work by Ericka Hart
Libra
Lurve is also in the air for you, Leeb! You’ve been working so hard to create stability in every other part of your life. You have the most solid of footing. Because you’ve done all this hard work, diving back into dating (even if you’re in a relationship, use your noggin) can be a reward. As best you can, try to not get ahead of yourself. If something feels good and fun: don’t question it. The foundation you’ve built will hold you up.
You should listen to: A Lady for All Seasons by TJ Alexander
Scorpio
You’re feeling a lot of big things right now, my little water dweller. I encourage you to channel those emotions into inspiration: let’s find you a project, a hobby, or a niche topic to do a deep dive on. I have a hunch that some of those feelings are being dredged up due to being under-stimulated…you’ve had too much time to sit and think (and think and think). Redirecting your energy will allow you to make your emotions feel a bit more manageable. Plus, you might get a new quilt or intense level of trivia knowledge out of it.
You should listen to: Everybody’s Fly by Fab 5 Freddy with Mark Rozzo
Sagittarius
Maybe it’s that you’ve been able to spend more time in the sun recently, but you’re feeling lighter and all you want is to be carried away on the spring breeze. Your goal? Make sure everyone knows you’re ready to play. After all, it’s hard to be a party pony all on your own. Spring is the perfect time to add some newness to your life, and that could mean whatever you want it to mean: some new friends, a new spring jacket, or a new pet fish. Anything counts.
You should listen to: American Fantasy by Emma Straub
Capricorn
It looks like you have the shoppies, my friend. But because you’re you, you’re not just throwing your credit card towards every poncho and niche subscription service that comes across your desk…you have a strategic plan for your spending. Your material desires are ranked by necessity and you have at least (3) reasons you need every item on your list. I admire you…and also encourage you to partake in a little indulgence.
You should listen to: My Dear You by Rachel Khong
Aquarius
I have a feeling that eclipse season might have had you feeling off kilter, my Aqua friend. We all need to find ways to cope! But sometimes, if those mechanisms aren’t necessarily “us”, we end up feeling even more discombobulated. For example, ordering takeout might free up some brain space that you normally use to decide what’s for dinner, but your wallet and stomach are probably hurting after three straight nights of General Tso’s chicken. It’s time to clean up your act and gently hip bump yourself back on the path! You’ll be right as rain when Mercury finally stations direct.
You should listen to: Strange Girls by Sarvat Hasin
Pisces
You’ve been hibernating through this last push of winter, haven’t you? There’s no shame in it: Mercury is swinging us to and fro, and it’s been the kind of cold that has you thinking “there is nothing in the outside world for me.” As you prepare to become a social creature again, think about the gatherings that will feel the least taxing. Invite a friend over to parallel play, have a hang out solely devoted to self-care and relaxation, or take yourself on a date. After all, you’re great company.
You should listen to: The Vineyard by Jonathan Galassi
