Gifts for Your Grinch: 7 Audiobooks Even Grumps Will Love
By Becca Stumpf
As a grump myself, I have a soft spot for the Grinch, and not only because he has killer eyebrows. The “Who’s down in Who-ville” are a little much. I mean, Cindy-Lou Who? Who doesn’t want to jump in a frozen lake after talking to that kid?
This year, instead of attempting to wrest the grump you love from their grumpitude, I suggest leaving them to their sweet peace with an audiobook that can match their dark humor, their realness, and their defiance of all things basic. Sure, you can give them a little coal too—they’ll probably love it—but these 7 audiobooks will genuinely be a comfort to grouches throughout the land…even if that grouch happens to be you.
Unreliable Narrator by Aparna Nancherla
I’ve been a fan of Aparna Nancherla’s stand-up for years; her witty self-deprecation, her biting insights, and her deadpan delivery as she dissects some of life’s wierdest moments. In terms of her excellent memoir Unreliable Narrator, Amy Poehler said it best: this is “A deeply honest and funny look at how exhausting it can be to live a human life…for anyone who wants to laugh and feel less alone.” A balm to grumps, especially millenial grumps, everywhere.
Sonny Boy by Al Pacino
Al Pacino in The Godfather films? Kind of a grump. Al Pacino in Scarface? Like, a super DUPER grumpity grump grump. But Al Pacino in his memoir Sonny Boy? A total sweetheart. For anyone who admires Pacino’s legendary film career, or just loves movies, theater, Hollywood stories, and wants to learn more about a man who up until now has been a bit of a mystery, this is the pick. Read by Pacino in his 100% Brooklyn-grown voice, this is a reverie that may make the heart grow a few sizes.
Quietly Hostile by Samantha Irby
One of my favorite literary misanthropes, Sam Irby is by turn the queen of the laugh-out-loud essay and a fearless chronicler of the many embarassments of being alive. Quietly Hostile is for the grump who desperately needs a pal to grump around with, a kindred spirit who will just get it.
All Fours by Miranda July
Okay, stay with me here. All Fours is NOT a grumpy book. Rather, it’s an onion in which the layers you peel away lead to ever more pearly, eye-watering stratums underneath. It’s a book about art, lust, loss, body grief, love, wierdness, more art, and the frustrations of human connection. It’s at once an acquired taste and a favorite dish, and if you like this book, we can probably be friends. Narrated to perfection by the inimitable Miranda July, of course!
Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar
Martyr! is one of my favorite novels of the year, featuring a gorgeous mess of a protagonist who is struggling to stay alive in multiple senses of the word. It’s heartbreaking, philosophical, at some times surprisingly funny and at all times deeply poetic. If you know a grump who needs a lot of cerebral fodder to get out of bed in the morning, Martyr! is the pick.
Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain
Kitchen Confidential by beloved chef Anthony Bourdain came out awhile ago, when Bourdain all but epitomized the role of mercilessly cool New York grumpy chef. But hearing him tell the story of his life and coming of age in and out of kichens, even all these years later, is a reminder that a story well-told never loses its spice.
Funny Story by Emily Henry
If you’ve gone through a break-up, first of all, I’m sorry. That’s rough. Second of all, you need a distraction. Some candy. You need some Funny Story, and that’s all I’m going to say about that.
